Squeezed, Wiper and True: 'Worked to a level of love and care that would make a Big Mac suicidal'
The final burger of burger month - have we saved the best 'til last?
And just like that, the end of August is upon us. We’ve reviewed eight burger establishments, so that we can conclusively establish where to find Bristol’s best burger. Only it’s not quite that simple. ‘Best’ is entirely subjective. Patty preference is dependent on taste, timing and a myriad of factors unique to the eater. The burger is in the mouth of the beholder. But nevertheless, we ought to wrap this bonanza up somehow. So, tell us — what do you think?
Meanwhile, we sent Yas to find out if Squeezed has managed to maintain standards across two sites…
Call me Ishmael.
Just kidding, I’m Yas. The keenest Saucers will know me from Ragu review fame, but for all others, hello. I’m here to talk to you about Squeezed. This is my first food review, so please be gentle. I’ve been eating for nearly all of my life, though, which I’m sure is half of the job.
As a Brazilian-born eater, I’m very partial to a double-carb meal. Almost mandatory in the motherland, they are not as easy to find in this part of the world, so a burger and fries it is when saudade hits and a handful of sad boiled new potatoes won’t do (mint optional, diabolical just the same).
Winner of the National Burger Award back in 2019, Squeezed is clearly a safe option. About four months ago, they expanded their empire and parked outside Wiper and True’s taproom in Old Market as their permanent food partner. A tidy pint and a messy burger? Count me in.
Neither place should need an introduction to anyone that might be reading Bristol’s best food publication, and this article is supposed to be burger-oriented, but it’s worth saying Wiper and True’s taproom is the obvious place to go at all times, because it’s excellent. Big enough to feel anonymous, but also cosy with the fairy lights. Good outdoors if sunny, but a beautiful interior in case it rains. Accessible and inclusive. Great beer. And now burgers. So, a handy guide: First date? Share a pint at Wiper and True’s taproom, pure romance. Breaking up? A half pint each at Wiper and True’s taproom, let’s make it quick. New job? Impress your colleagues by suggesting a drink at Wiper and True’s taproom — cool but down to earth, trendy but relatable. Just been fired? Drink Kaleidoscopes until you start seeing mirrored images (respectfully, in a considered manner) at Wiper and True’s taproom. The place is faultless.
So there I went on a grey Thursday. Squeezed’s van was parked outside, shining bright like the sun. And now, before we keep going, I must out myself as a vegetarian, meaning my options were very limited — there’s only one veggie/vegan offering; Salinas (£9). Cajun-marinated mushrooms, chipotle ketchup, chimichurri, lettuce and pickles. Is a burger without a patty still a burger? What makes a burger? Did I just have a mushroom bap, making my whole article for the burger month a fraud? Big questions, no doubt. As expected, ChatGPT got involved.
ChatGPT is clearly unaware of Squeezed’s game. This was no “two buns and just some mushrooms in between”. Furthermore, I definitely enjoyed it like a burger, although I’m not entirely sure of what that means. I hope this settles the matter, and I won’t be taking any further questions.
Saucy and messy as hell, veggie burgers don’t get much better than this. The chimichurri is the perfect partner for the heat brought in by the Cajun marinade, chipotle ketchup and chillies. Many napkins were needed. So bring in the mushrooms — I’d take them any day over most veggie patties, even when running the risk of being accused of consuming a mushroom sandwich. The portion of fries (£3.50) was generous, and the blue cheese ranch dip (£1) helped them slide down beautifully.
Fear not, livestock farmers and fans, there were also three St Werburgers (£11.30 each) on the table. Double beef patty, cheese, smoked bacon and caper aioli, chipotle ketchup and confit shallots. Each ingredient worked to a level of love and care that would make a Big Mac suicidal, although perhaps too many words to fit in a catchy jingle. Due to my already mentioned personal failings, I can’t offer a review of the meat burgers — but all plates (or clamshell containers, to be accurate) were licked clean, which is clearly a sign they’re doing things right.
A pint of Today was the perfect companion, and the ideal way to mark what’s feeling like the end of summer. I left convinced Wiper and True’s taproom and Squeezed are the best famous couple Bristol has ever produced; a match made in heaven. The fact I don’t know any other famous Bristol couples is irrelevant here, and shouldn’t take away any credit from the statement.
Last year, Alex Hayes, Squeezed’s founder and chef, announced he was looking to sell the restaurant to become a biology teacher. A little investigative journalism (Google + Companies House) shows he’s still very much the main Squeezer and, selfishly, I hope long may it last. He certainly knows his way around the anatomy of a burger.
All words and photos: Yas Amarante
Squeezed, Wiper and True taproom, City Business Park, St Jude's, BS5 0SP
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Danny's Burgers, St Werburghs: Smash or pass?
Yesterday was National Burger Day. I do hope that our recent burger bonanza gave you some inspiration in where to indulge on such a momentous occasion. When it comes to burgers, more often that not Danny’s is the one that I want. In fact, on these summer nights, there’s few things better than sitting al-fresco in the Fierce & Noble courtyard with a pint of the cold stuff and devouring a smash burger while dripping beefy grease through my fingers. You could say I’m hopelessly devoted. But rather than me continuing to wax lyrical about beef juices, I’ll hand you over to Caitlin for the real deal. And if you enjoy reviews like this landing in your inbox, don’t forget to hit subscribe — it helps us keep The Bristol Sauce sizzling.
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Other foodie philosophical conundrums include:
Is a hot dog a taco?
Is cereal soup?
Is tiramisu trifle?
And many more absurdities.
Putting the quality of the food to one side, I think improvement in the experience is possible. I would suggest that the Squeezed van needs to get a visible menu up on the outside so people can see what is on offer and make decisions before they get to the front of the queue and engage with the electronic ordering. Just my opinion.